Holiday in Goa: Things You Shouldn't Do!

1992

Mom: Mahesh, don’t touch the pot. It’s boiling hot!! Five year old Beta Mahesh: (stupid grin on his face, pays no heed to the warning) Arrrrgghhhh!! Hot, hot, hot! Wahahahahaha! Result – burnt hand, scolding, pain and no cricket for a week!

2017

After some more hilarious/painful incidents our Beta Mahesh is all grown up. In fact, in a few days’ time he is all set to go on a summer holiday to Goa – the party capital of India. He is game for trying out all that Goa has to offer– beaches, water sports, beer, beautiful scenery and late night parties. But before he goes and gets burnt or half drowned or mugged or loses his memory again (how he managed to do that is still a mystery), it’s our duty, as Goa pundits, to give him a rundown of things to avoid in Goa. After all, I don’t want him to wake up remembering nothing and just singing about Goa.

1. Drink and drive, and Yamaraaj’s business will thrive!

Beta Mahesh, drink all you can, eat all you can, puke all you can, dance all you can but dare not drive a vehicle till your mind stops doing somersaults and comes back to its desk job ( i.e. you are sober). You definitely do not want to ride the Yamaraaj’s vehicle this early in life; nor be the reason for someone else’s boarding ticket for the Yamaraaj’s vehicle.

2. Wanna deal with shady guys; say your prayers and goodbyes!

“Sir, sir! Idhar aao sir! Ekdum asli Russian, Israeili, videshi massage, bilkul saste mein!“ “Sir, sir! Ekdum asli Johnnie Walker, Kingfisher beer, sab bilkul saste me hai mere paas sir. Dukaan se aadhi daam par…le lo sir“ So Beta Mahesh, the moment you hear these words of infinite wisdom from these Gurus of Goon, just step back and avoid them. If you don’t, chances are you would either be swindled out of your money or maybe even mugged. Talking to thugs is therefore not in our list of top 10 things to do in Goa.

3. Water Sports is fun! Without an instructor, though, it’s as bad as a loaded gun!

What seems to be thrilling and exciting can quickly turn into a dangerous and potentially fatal activity. Beta Mahesh, remember you are not Superman nor Silver Surfer, not even Shaktiman – you need to be well practiced to indulge in some of the acclaimed water sports like parasailing, jet skiing and surfing. You must have a good professional instructor to help you through the activity.

4. Local, tourist or foreigner – misbehave with anyone, and just wait for the consequence!

Na Mahesh, na! Never ever misbehave with anyone while in Goa. The heady combination of beaches and booze can get the better of your senses sometimes; best thing to do at that time is to return to your hotel and embrace the beautiful princess – sleep! If you misbehave with anyone in Goa, well, keep handy the number of the local lawyer to get you out of the prison lock-up.

5. Get wasted on the beach, a lesson the crabs will teach!

I think this is both hilarious and dangerous. I know, many of us like to sit on the beach at night and drink a beer or two. But beware, Beta Mahesh, you fall asleep and the crabs have a party time crawling up your body and taking a few bites! Painful way to get up, isn’t it? Play all you want on the beach - just don't sleep there in the night or ...see the crab? The strategy has been chalked out. The mission will begin in a few days. Beta Mahesh’s maiden Holiday in Goa  –  follow it with us here on MakeMyTrip’s blogs and give your suggestions on what to do to Beta Mahesh too!

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