Epic Tips for Road Trippin’ With Your Dog

Greetings, Two-legged Beast.

They call me Dog in your language, although you have come up with some creative nicknames for me over the years (Buck, Kalia, Papa Shanko) but for the sake of simplification, let’s just call me Dog.

We need to talk. Every time you discuss a road trip to some exotic destination with different-smelling grass and so many new trees to pee against (although, I’m sure, you have your own reasons) I feel left out. Left out, because when it comes to me, you’re usually deciding which kennel to put me up at, or whose friend’s place I could stay. Not that I don’t enjoy scandalizing your friend’s maid every now and then but that’s no way to treat a friend.

I’m the guy who barks endlessly and pines at the door when you go grocery shopping for five minutes. Would you really leave me for days while you’re off gallivanting around on those sweet, sweet road trips? No, you should take me with you. It’ll be fun, I promise.

With that, and by the authority vested in me by the royal paw print, I give you some epic tips for road trippin’ with your dog.

(Some furniture was wrecked while conceptualizing this article)

‘Ze Tips

Make sure you carry newspapers, blankets, enough chewies and my favourite toys on the trip. I tend to get antsy and when I do, that tempting leather cover on your backseat is gonna get it. Big time.

Travelling with me means lots of licks and sniffles. Be next to me while someone else is driving. I do not want to be on the paper under the headline, “Excessive licking by Dog leads to car crash on Panipat highway”

As a species, I admire your ability to hold your bladder in check. I can’t. One of my few weaknesses, I confess. This means pee breaks. Lots of pee breaks.

If you’re stopping for food, try to stop at a dhaba where the rules on dogs are a little – shall we say – lax. I wouldn’t like being left inside the car in the heat while you enjoy Butter Chicken or whatever it is you humans like to drool on.

Do your research on pet-friendly hotels along the way. I do not want to share the car with Rajinder while you snuggle under the premium duvets of your luxury suite.

Keep them windows open. My tongue’s favourite place, apart from your face, is flapping out the window. Seriously, I could write a travelogue on the verdant plains and lush meadows that pass us by but…paws.

You must understand that even if I’ve been in the car a lot back home, long road trips aren’t something I’m used to. So go easy on me. If I seem strained (whining and excessive movement are symptoms here), stop for a while. Let me stretch my legs. I’ll be fine soon, you’ll see.

If we’re going someplace where temperatures are unfamiliar, do the needful. For mountains, buy me a warm jacket. For places that are hotter than home, keep that air conditioning going, pretty please.

Be sure to take lots of selfies with me. Human on road trip < Human with OMG-so-cute Dog on road trip. Every time.

If I’m not used to being around strangers, take the appropriate measures. Bring a muzzle restraint along if I’m prone to biting. I don’t enjoy it much, but hey, whatever it takes to get through this without you facing lawsuits, right?

Most importantly, be cool and just go with the flow. It’s not that big a deal to take me around with you on a road trip. The dog next doors goes for them all the times and makes us jealous with his Instagram feed. Seriously, I could use the extra street cred.